An ice-cold Billy Idol kicks Ford Fairlane off in style with the piston-popping underage examination "Cradle of Love." However, Dion's tropical "Sea Cruise" sinks under unwarranted Don Was board foolishness; this kind of crummy update gives soundtracks a bad name. Andrew Dice Clay himself strolls through the sizzling standard "I Ain't Got You." And prog-princes Queensryche, whose usual lofty song concerns get cast aside for a ridiculous road fable, finally let their hair down for the strange and welcome "Last Time in Paris"; this sort-of detour makes soundtracks worth their weight. The slutty "Rock n' Roll Junkie" also burns, but now resides on several Crue compilations. Richie Sambora flies solo through (ho-hum) "The Wind Cries Mary." Otherwise, this disc darts amongst a typical potpourri of disparate styles, making Ford Fairlane a rough listen from front to back. Strident, big-bang production overbearingly suppresses any cohesive groove. Most of the best cuts are available on better collections, so unless you can't get enough of Ton-Loc or long for Sheila E., don't pay full price for Ford Fairlane (includes slick fold-out art of Clay's mug).
-STONE, Cheap Trash NYC